Wanted: The Easter Bunny

Let me start off by saying, I'm not religious. At all. For a time, when we were kids, my mother sent my brother and I on Sundays to the area Baptist church on a silver van driven by a very heavyset man who wore a towel over his lap so he could steer, but it never really took. Church, I mean.

So growing up, Easter was mostly about wearing a new outfit, eating ham and of course, hunting for our overflowing Easter baskets. This year Rich and I decided we wouldn't buy our son an Easter present. He's not even 2. He doesn't eat candy. And his birthday is one month away. But sure enough, there I was in Kmart last night, weaving through disgruntled last-minute Easter Bunnies who were all looking for candy, searching for this fire-engine shaped basket I'd had my eye on for weeks that I suddenly decided he needed to have. They sold out, so I settled on reusing the pail my mother had given him his Easter presents in last week.

Two match box cars, a Thomas coloring book and a couple of those plastic Easter eggs filled with Goldfish, and the kid was in heaven this morning. Whew! We headed to our neighbors' house for a terrific Easter brunch, then came home to relax. All in all, it was a pretty good day in its own uneventful way.

But what I really wanted to say about Easter was this. Last night, I saw some ridiculous news story on the Easter Bunny being banned from a RI school , another case of political correctness run amok. Apparently, the Superintendent of Tiverton schools felt the Easter Bunny was too religious an icon for an event at which he was scheduled to appear and might offend those who did not celebrate the holiday. So instead he proposed that event coordinators change the Easter Bunny's name to Peter Rabbit. What's next? Banning the phrase "Good Morning" because it offends night owls who can't possibly tolerate such a comment without first having had their coffee?

In response to this debacle, one local politician decided to take the Bunny's case to the state, and this week proposed the Easter Bunny bill, which would protect his name, along with the names of other traditional holiday symbols. Not that I'd want my tax dollars wasted on such nonsense, but do Tiverton school administrators realize that the Easter Bunny is NOT religious? Jesus rose from the dead, and oh, yeah, a giant, white rabbit brought you Peeps to celebrate.

Tiverton parents: If you don't like or want your kids to believe in the Easter Bunny, don't let them go and sit on his lap.

And by the way, Mr. Superintendent, as the politician aptly points out, Peter Rabbit stole cabbages. Not a great role model. In fact, if I were a Tiverton parent, I'd sue.